When a Strong Man Breaks
by Tigoldbitties
Summary: 4.05 Post-ep. Sam finds that he can no longer hide his concerns for Andy. One-shot.


**Hey there.**

**So sorry this is out so late as well! I'm trying to push them all out before the finale.**

**Again, a GINORMOUS thank you to svugirl, honestly you've made the process of writing and life so much easier for me, and I really can't thank you enough! **

**Hope you guys enjoy it. Hopefully 4x06 won't be too far away. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Andy sat next to an angry looking Marlo in the squad car. Remembering her earlier conversation with Traci, she was starting to second guess the idea to befriend Marlo. But...she needed to do it.

Andy looked through the window next to her as she searched her brain for a question. "So do you have a big family?"

"No." Marlo answered skeptically. "...Why?"

"Just curious." Andy said with a shrug. "You know, I think it says a lot about a person. The size of their family."

"Does it? Well do you have a big family?" Cruz questioned snottily.

"No..."

"What does that say about you?"

Marlo took a look out of the window, trying to keep her temper under control. She wanted to applaud herself on Andy's silence.

"Look, we don't have to do the whole get to know you thing, okay?"

"Okay. Well you know what? I figured we ride together so, maybe we should try."

"Well, I disagree. In fact, I think it's harmful to a good police partnership."

Andy opened her mouth in shock. "Harmful?" She asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah. I don't need the drama, rather just do my job."

"So then what about you and Sam?" Andy probed, looking over to the woman next to her.

"Well, I thought Sam and I worked, because we kept emotional distance." She said, spitting out the last 2 words like they contained venom.

'_Wait, what?' _Andy wondered internally, before voicing her thoughts. "What do you mean 'worked?'"

"We kept emotional distance." She spat again, not at all explaining her earlier statement.

"Pfft." Andy blew out. "That I can imagine."

'_Why the hell is she using past tense?' _Andy pondered._ 'She's angry; I'm not asking.' _

Marlo looked over at Andy who was looking out of her window. _'She doesn't realize it's her he wants.' _Cruz thought.

* * *

Sam was on a mission. He needed to find out if Andy was okay. "McNally and Cruz...are they alright?"

Frank turned his head to look at the new body in his office. "We don't know." He said honestly. "But you're not getting within 100 feet, you understand? There's people on it and, I need you here."

Sam nodded reluctantly and then fished for more information. "Alright, so what are we dealing with?"

"The doctors are saying the anthrax is in the heroin supply." Traci revealed.

The fire in Sam's eyes could be seen from a mile away. "What? How?"

"It's early, we're still trying to piece it together. I've brought in help from the drug squad." Frank spoke in reply.

"Good, let's get to work." Sam chirped, determined to find out everything about this case.

After all, this case is what had the person he cares about the most in danger.

"Jacob Blackstone." Frank said to Sam's retreating back. The male detective snapped his head back to Frank at the sound of Jacob Blackstone's name.

If there was anyone he could kill in this world at that moment, that guy would be number 1 on his list. The guy had put Andy's life at risk. No one was allowed to do that.

"Sam, he's familiar with cases like this; he's gonna run it. That be a problem?"

'_Yes!' _Sam internally yelled. "No sir, not today."

"Good."

* * *

Sam hoped to god she'd pick up. He knew she was alive and breathing, but the need to hear her voice was becoming painful. Tapping his shoe impatiently, he waited for his favourite sound in the world to enter his ears.

"Hey Sam."

Letting out a gush of relief, he talked.

"Hey McNally, how you holding up?"

"Alright, considering." She told him with a shrug. "I kinda freaked out before though..." She muttered, obviously a little embarrassed over her episode.

Sam chuckled, slightly bringing out his dimples. "You okay now, though?" He couldn't help by worry. "You know experts are on their way, right?" Sam told her, needing her to know that they'd be okay.

"Yeah, just need something to distract me for a little bit."

"Maybe I can distract you with some police work?" He asked hopefully.

"Would you?" She almost begged. "I'll put you on speaker."

Sam bit his lip, trying to gain control over his urge to immediately protest. He still had the desire to speak to her alone. He wanted to make sure she was 100% okay. That even though she hadn't been touched by anyone physically, that she was safe and unwounded.

"Hang on, Andy. Don't put it on speaker yet." He quickly implored her.

Andy furrowed her brow and put the phone closer to her ear. "You alright?"

Sam shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Promise me that you're okay, and that you're not freaking out and that you're not hurt."

Andy face softened and a ghost of a smile played on her lips. "I'm fine, Sam." She said gently.

Her voice sent shivers down Sam's spine, as he closed his eyes and nodded to himself. "You can put it on speaker now."

* * *

As the day went on, Andy was honestly perplexed at the new information she learned about Marlo. Marlo didn't want anyone to know she had bipolar disorder. She didn't even want her _boyfriend _to know she had bipolar disorder.

Although Andy knew they were keeping 'emotional distance', she still had no clue how someone couldn't tell their own boyfriend about something like that.

_Emotional distance. _Andy rolled her eyes at the thought.

Something Andy learnt about keeping emotional distance?

It sucks. It doesn't work. She knew that first hand.

However, she wondered about all the PDA and smiles...and _'eww'_. Andy internally gagged at the images that came to mind. But with all of _that_ happening, she would've imagined that Marlo and Sam would tell each other everything.

Because they were together, right? Then again, she had kept talking about their relationship in past tense earlier.

* * *

Sam hung up the phone when he saw Andy and Marlo walk through the hallway. He directed his eyes to Andy's frame, noticing her dark hair falling loosely over her shoulders. It honestly took him everything he had not to scoop her into his arms and hold her for the rest of their lives.

But...he hadn't told her he'd broken up with Marlo.

If he ran up and hugged Andy now, she'd probably freak out because Marlo was _right _there.

So...he stepped back. He watched Andy laugh along with Oliver, and he watched Marlo walk past him with a cold stare.

Once Andy had finished her little chat with Traci, Sam almost sprinted the short distance between them. He saw that Nick was about to talk to her, and there was no way that Nick was _ever _going to get in his way. Sam could tell that the two had formed a bond undercover, and that was not okay with him.

"Andy." He spoke up, lightly grabbing onto her shoulder and turning her around. As her beautiful eyes caught his, he momentarily lost his breath.

How he'd gone _this _long without her was unreal.

"Hey Sam." She greeted with a soft smile.

He rested his other hand on her opposite shoulder and took a step back, surveying her body up and down for any damage.

Yes, she'd already told him she was fine...but he had to see it for himself.

"I'm fine." She interrupted his thoughts, already knowing what he was thinking. "No cuts, no bruises, just a small hole in my arm from the injection. I promise."

"Good." Sam said with a nod. "You feeling okay?"

Andy rolled her eyes and gave him a dazzling smile. "I'm..."

"Fine?" Oliver piped up from behind her. Sam sent his old friend a glare over Andy's shoulder.

"Did anyone ask for your input?" Sam asked, annoyed at the intrusion. He turned his attention back to Andy, gently stoking her shoulders with his thumbs. "Give me a minute then I'll give you a ride home?"

Andy bit her lip and looked over her shoulder to a waiting Nick. He looked hopeful, Sam noticed. And in that moment, he prayed to god Andy wouldn't decline his offer to give her a ride home.

When she turned her face back to his, she gave him a nod. "I'll wait here."

Sam gave her a large smile before wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her form as close as humanly possible. He rubbed her back and pulled her even closer when he felt her arms wind around his torso. "I'm really happy you're okay." He whispered in her ear.

* * *

A few minutes later, when Sam had emerged from the men's locker room, Andy spoke. "What about Marlo?

Not wanting to have this discussion in the precinct, Sam waited until they reached his truck to respond. With a raised eyebrow, he replied to Andy. "What about her?"

"You know 'what'." She said. "Why are you offering me a ride home when you have a girlfriend, who not only did you not offer a ride home to, but who also looked at you like you were the spawn of Satan."

"Isn't it sort of obvious?" He asked her. When she shook her head, he let out an aggravated grunt. "I broke up with her. I sort of realized emotional distance doesn't work..." He trailed off, daring to take a look at Andy's face.

"I know," She said easily. At Sam's confused look, Andy confessed about her conversation with Marlo. "I mean...about the emotional distance thing." She clarified. "She was being all...snotty and stuff when I asked her about you earlier."

"She was?"

"Mhm." Andy sang with a nod. "Told me that you guys 'worked' because you kept emotional distance."

"Well...yeah, I guess she's right."

Andy furrowed her brow and scoffed. "What do you mean she's right? Didn't you just say you broke up with her because you realized that emotional distance doesn't work?"

Sam tilted his head back until he met the headrest of his seat. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily. "I told her that I didn't want to keep emotional distance anymore."

"Okay..."

"And then she said that we didn't have to. But I didn't mean with her." He said. Sam took a look at Andy and noticed that she was completely confused. Letting out a chuckle, he continued. "I don't want to keep emotional distance anymore, I realized that. And I also realized that the only person that I don't want to keep emotional distance with is you."

Andy's eyes widened in shock, and she almost choked on air. "Wait, what?"

"I want us to work. I _need _us to work." He started. Sam could already tell this was going to be a long conversation. "And, relationships don't work properly if you don't share your emotions. They don't work if you don't...tell each other things and tell each other what you're feeling. I screwed up in that aspect with you." He explained. "I kept all my emotions bottled up, and I wouldn't open up to _anyone _about _any _of my feelings."

"Tell me about it." Andy said, rolling her eyes.

"Andy!" Sam snapped. "I'm trying to explain myself, okay? I'm trying to tell you why I was so closed off, and why I didn't share anything with you."

"Why now?" She almost yelled. "Why now, when you've been in a relationship for months, and you've pretty much made it clear that you don't want anything to do with me." Andy looked over at Sam and saw him gawking at her. His jaw had dropped and his face was etched with shock.

"You think I don't want anything to do with you? What possessed you into thinking that?"

Andy crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "Everything." She huffed. "All the PDA and googly eyes and..."

"I want absolutely _everything _to do with you." He yearned. "I want to wake up in the morning with you, and go to work with you, and go grocery shopping with you, and I want to do all those things with _you,_" He said, nodding towards her. "No one else."

Andy had nothing to say. She was shocked into silence, not expecting those words to come out of this mans mouth. She thought they were done, thinking that he'd taken his pick, and that he was happy.

"I don't want to keep my emotions away from you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And yeah, it has taken me ages to finally say this to you, and I'm kicking myself for not telling you earlier, but I'm trying. It's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna try my best to make sure that we're on the same page, and that we know exactly what's going on in each other's heads."

"Sam..." Andy breathed, grabbing hold of his hand. She could see the emotion in his eyes, and he looked like he was about to break.

Her beyond beautiful, strong man was about to _break. _

"That is what I want with you." He started again. "I don't want to be like I was before. Because even though I've always loved you with everything I have, I was a lousy guy when we were first together."

"No, you weren't." Andy insisted, holding onto his hand tighter.

Sam nodded with wide eyes. "Yes, I was. I used to ditch you in the mornings and always keep my emotions to myself. I hardly ever showed any affection at work, yet with Marlo I was doing it all the time."

"Yeah." Andy said, rolling her eyes and giving Sam a small pout. The memories of always seeing Sam and Marlo together had dampened her mood. She attempted to loosen her grip on Sam's hands.

But, Sam wasn't going to allow her to let go. He grabbed onto her hands tighter, making sure the softness of her fingers wouldn't leave the roughness of his.

"I'm done with that. I'm done with not having you with me anymore and I'm done with being a closed book. I'm putting it all out in the open right now. I love you. I love every single thing about you. And I felt like I was dying today, not knowing if you were okay." He admitted.

"I love you, too." Andy said under her breath, Sam barely catching her words. Her wide doe eyes were glued to his.

After smiling at the beautiful sound of finally hearing the sentiment from her again. Sam proceeded with his admissions.

"And if something were to have happened to you today, I wouldn't be able to live. I can't imagine my life without you in it." Their hearts pounded at the memory, his words brought to mind.

Andy placed her small hand on Sam's cheek, softly tracing under his eye with her thumb. "You won't ever have to worry about that." She said softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I didn't get hurt today, and I'm fine."

"But what if something does happen to you?" He asked, not noticing that his voice was cracking more with each truthful word he spoke.

Andy leaned closer to him, so their foreheads were almost touching. "I'm not going anywhere." She repeated to him. "I won't let anything happen to me. Yeah, I'm a danger magnet, but...I'll...I don't know. But, I do know that I'm going to be here, and that I will never voluntarily go anywhere, okay?"

Sam finally leaned in the extra few inches and kissed her senseless. The feeling of their lips together made their stomachs do flips.

"Love you." He muttered, before kissing her nose, cheeks, then her swollen lips.

Andy smirked. "Love you."

After Sam's confessions, her doubts had faded.

Andy's newfound confidence had caused her smirk to turn into a dazzling smile – a smile that made the grin erupt on Sam's face. Their craving to feel true happiness again was beginning to be fulfilled.

The same thought ran through their minds – breaking wasn't so bad, after all...as long as you let someone help you pick up the pieces.

* * *

**And there it is. Hope you enjoyed it, and again, let me know what you guys think.**


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